CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: How to Come Out Like a Pornstar, the Book!

The ways in which we “come out” — or DON’T — say a lot about who we are, and how we are perceived.

Responses paint a candid portrait of our family, friends and neighbors. Porn is not something many people openly talk about, often out of protection and privacy. Coming out can expose shame as much as it can reveal open-minded acceptance. Stories about the reactions from our family and friends, or the ways in which we guard our decisions through alias and discretion can present an honest look at what it’s like to work in the field of sexuality, within an industry so often misrepresented. While some denounce pornography as obscene, and others praise its associates brazen liberation, the actual accounts of what happens when we live with our choices off the set and IRL walk the line and offer a refreshingly honest look at the complexity of sexuality.

I want to hear your story.

I’m seeking submissions of personal narratives from porn performers, videographers, photographers, producers, directors, web producers, industry writers and reviewers, and anyone else who works in the field of pornography. Posts by family members of porn people, parents, children, siblings or even lovers will also be considered.


SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:

  • Write about your experience coming out (or not) and whatever details you’d like to share.
  • Pen names/pseudonym or changing the names of people in your story are accepted.
  • Submissions should be approximately 1,000 words in length. (All lengths considered.)
  • Please send as a Word, Text, or Google Doc, or in the body of the email.
  • If your work is selected, I will contact you in regards to publishing information, payment, and contracts.
  • If your work is selected, I will contact you in regards to promotion of the materials.
  • Writers retain rights and may publish their work at any time, as they see fit. Exclusivity is not required.
  • Multiple submissions will be accepted.
  • DEADLINE is October 11th, 2012


Email: Jiz@JizLee.com
I will respond to all submissions no later than October 11th, 2012. (National Coming Out Day!)

So, what was your experience like? What information do you withhold? Do you generalize what you do when asked? Are you more open to disclosing your job to close friends, or to complete strangers? Do your children know about your work? Do their teachers know? Do you have any advice to share with others? Did you find acceptance and excitement about coming out? Did it surprise you to find support? Did it disgust you to find the people you love place judgement on you? Did you have to educate or defend yourself or others? Did you withhold information or details? Is there a component about coming out that felt freeing? Is coming out necessary?

I’m looking forward to your submissions. And I have to say: thank you everyone, for the support you’ve given to me through your emails and messages, for purchasing my work, for respecting my gender pronouns and sexuality, for inspiring me to write and share my experiences, and more. I will also have a story in the book, and I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

Jiz Lee

12 Replies to “CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: How to Come Out Like a Pornstar, the Book!”

Creatrix Tiara

Wow. My family did NOT take my burlesqueing very well – and this was way back in the beginning *before* I had done anything particularly salacious! No way am I going to come out to them about having done porn. Sex and my family don’t mix: honestly, sometimes I wonder how they even had kids to begin with.

I would really appreciate stories from other South Asians – I do get a lot of South Asians telling me “I wish I could do what you do but my family would kill me”, and I feel there’s an interesting cultural dynamic that is present even in the diaspora that’s worth looking at. (Your identity being subsumed by that of your family, your actions affecting your family’s livelihoods, filial piety and being “selfish”, sex as a private discreet matter between a married couple, shame and disgrace and honor). There aren’t that many role models for me to look to, none especially that take cultural issues into account. Probably there are a lot more South Asian sex-related performers out there that aren’t out about their ethnicity or nationality because of this! So if you ever do hear from other South Asians, do share – and let them know there is a fellow bideshi hungry for support.

Reply
Ms Naughty

This is a brilliant idea, Jiz, thanks for doing it. I would like to contribute, even though I’m coming from the position of “behind the scenes” rather than as a performer. But it’s still tricky. When acquaintances ask why we went to Berlin last year I still don’t have a good explanation. I have found, however, that it’s a handy way of sorting out who your friends really are.

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Miss Lagsalot

Jiz, this is a wonderful idea! I am so excited about this project–sharing stories of trials and tribulations always brings people together, but this is one “coming out” that has been largely ignored, and in a community in which coming together (haha!) goes undone far too often… this will legitimize many people’s experiences in their own eyes, and perhaps legitimize the experience of choosing a career/lifestyle that others don’t always agree with in a whole new way. So… yes! Just, yes.

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Violet+Rye

As sex bloggers/photographers/filmmakers that are still Anon and struggling with the idea of coming out or not, we truly appreciate the thought behind this post and the call for other stories. We look forward to reading other responses and thank you for putting this together, not to mention the inspiration!

Love,
V+R

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WDKYMY

Such a good post. As much time as I spend thinking about queer crap, I don’t know that this specific nuance of coming out has ever broached my mind.

Kudos to your courage, sir. Keep on doin’ you.

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ted

This is a great idea Jiz. I am sure it will help a lot of people who work in front and behind the scenes in the adult film business not to mention people who work in the retail end of things which is where most of my expereince has been. In most cases people(my family and friends) seemed to be cool with the retail end but, I know of at least one instance where a woman did not want to date me simply because I was working at an adult business store. At the time I was suprised as she seemed to be a cool person and we seemed to be getting along okay. I wasn’t in love with her or anything but, it still threw me for a loop that I would be rejected for where I worked and not for something more signifigant. I would imagine it is much more difficult for people who work on the set especially in front of the camera when they are dating or when they decide to tell their loved ones about their chosen profession. In any case I think it is a great idea and I wish you much success with it. Take care.

Ted.

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DearMissLucy

I think that this is an important project that will yield an informative and educational work, and I commend you for taking it on. However, I must ask, in your quest to compile a bibliography, have you consulted a research librarian? Asking random people on the internet for their favorite books and websites is fine, but if you want factual information from sources that you haven’t even heard of yet, librarians are the way to go. As a bonus, there are MANY of them in the queer community and they would undoubtedly be thrilled to help. Just a thought. Good luck!

Reply
Queeries

[…] and they take obvious and political pleasure in what they do. This shines through in Jiz Lee’s personal explanation about why they are a pornstar: “From the beginning, each project I do is a choice . . . a lesson […]

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Coming Out

[…] a side note, this project relates to me in that I’m working on a book called “How to Come Out Like a Porn Star“, which involves family dynamics, queer and gender issues, and a collection of essays by […]

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Blue Taboo

Being a little new to porn (starting with camming and home videos, hoping to do more soon), I’m a bit nervous about submitting. Are noobs ok? Webcam performers in particular? I’m in the half-out phase, where my spouse and most of my friends know but most of my family is religious and politically conservative (thus intimidating). Trying to conquer disabilities (as well as gender dysphoria and body image issues) keeping me from getting more devoted to my craft.

Reply
MISTERSEX

[…] and most of all it will change a fuckton of conversations that needed to be changed like yesterday. CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS: How to Come Out Like a Pornstar, the Book! (Jiz […]

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