I’ll definitely announce when the shoot goes live, and will say much more about the experience. However while it’s still fresh in my head, let me just say that I had a great time! For those of you who missed it, last Tuesday was my first time subbing at Kink.com for the site WiredPussy.com. Way back in November, I wrote about how hot it was to see co-stars from CrashPadSeries.com appear on the site, which is run by the stunningly beautiful Princess Donna and is one of the popular sites of San Francisco’s infamous BDSM porn perveyours Kink.com.
Back on that old post, a comment from Cand86 inquired if I’d ever be working for Kink.com. While I had thought about it, I didn’t really see myself fitting in — I wasn’t sure if I’d be enough of a ‘pain slut’ and even more importantly, I didn’t feel comfortable going ‘femme’ for the shoot, at least not at this moment. And all this kept me from applying to be a model. It wasn’t until Princess Donna invited me and said I didn’t have to shave that prompted me to sign up — I could be myself!
Okay, so some background about the scene. Princess Donna has started a new series on WiredPussy, called “The New Collection”, where she essentially gathers a collection of slaves to keep in her dungeon. For WiredPussy die-hard fans, you probably remember the Collection back in 2005 and 2007, with the likes of Lorelei Lee and Dana DeArmond. The (NEW) Collection employs Syd Blakovich as the brutal guard/assistant. In March, the first of the series went live staring Vai (whom many of you know from episodes on CrashPadSeries.com and through my crushing on her). Vai is adorable, sweet, and puts my squirting TO SHAME. The gal can fill a kiddie pool with cum. I’m not lying. You have to see it to believe it. Here’s some pics, and trailer.
Okay, so Vai with Syd Blakovich as Princess Donna’s assistant — New Collection #1.
You can buy either buy just this shoot, or become a member of WiredPussy (which means you can see the entire backlog, too). Wheeeee.
Guess who’s New Collection #2?
Me! I’m really excited about it and I’m proud of myself about how it went.
If you read my previous blog and comments, you’d know that I was a bit nervous in the months leading up to the shoot. It’s fun to do things for the first time and to try things out when it’s at home, especially because it’s without the pressure of the cameras. I wanted to keep with what was familiar to me, and I wanted to do a good job, and I wanted to have a positive experience with it — which to me meant enjoying and really being honest with myself about all the sensation.
I have a bunch of friends who are self-proclaimed “pain sluts” and I’ve admired how they recieve heavy pain with such full-bodied and euphoric connection. The threshold seems spiritual, meditative, and I’m while definitely not at that ‘level of intensity’ it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy BDSM as much, or that I wouldn’t make a good model. Even if I wasn’t as ‘hardcore’ as other Kink.com models, hopefully watching my experience will be just as thrilling. Hell, it was for me!
Being able to communicate with everyone to let them know what I was interested in playing with — and what I was not — gave me comfort, security, and allowed me to let go of some control. Part of what also helped me lose control — at least to an extent — was the use of safewords, which are very familiar to people who practice/live BDSM. At any point in the shoot, a model can safeword out of a situation — I actually did use it once, when the buttplug I had chosen (we pick out the toys prior) was a little bigger than I was ready for. All it took was a simple call of the safeword to hold so that I could explain that I needed to be warmed up a bit more, and things carried on just fine.
There was another time during the shoot where a safeword moment might have occurred. I was being slapped on the ass and things quickly got very intense for me. When I was younger my mother would punish me with spankings. Nowadays I enjoy moderate spanking, especially during anal sex and with a Hitachi. The spankings in this shoot were going well, until they got to a certain level — at which time my mind shot straight back to my childhood and the pain was suddenly so sharp and I felt so angry that I screamed long and loud. It must have been too loud, because a pause was called for right away.
I have to admit I was initially a little frustrated that we had stopped — I wonder what would have happened if it had continued. Would I have eventually safeworded? Would I have slipped through that sensation into something else… or some other place? This must be where BDSM and therapy collide. While it was nice to be afforded the luxory to really belt it out (had this occured at home I think my housemates and neighbors might have thought I was being murdered) I now realize this is where the dom, especially when working for the camera, has that power/safeword to call the shots too. In terms of the shoot, my blood-curdling cries — as real as they were to me — might have been an indicator to Princess Donna that I wasn’t able to safeword (this can happen to bottoms playing in other BDSM situations) and if this was the case, she did the most excellent thing of playing it safe and checking in with me. While I was at first frustrated, it was a fantastic and reassuring experience that further established my trust in her and the entire shoot. [As an aside, if you’d like to read a great account of Kink.com’s care for their models see this SFgate City Brights post written by Photographer / Journalist David Steinberg. Kink.com and employees exhibit the utmost care and respect.]
The rest of the shoot contained other challenges that I enjoyed. Princess Donna created options within the situation that afforded me chances to rest, push further, or switch sensations. And she offered me the biggest challenge I had yet to face in porn — and by doing so afforded me the opportunity to conquer one of my greatest fears going into the shoot. Curious to find out what happened? You’ll have to see the shoot to find out! 🙂
Okay so when it’s live — soon — I’ll write another post and talk more about it. Until then, thank you everyone for your support, and questions, and for reading this account of my experience. (I’m so grateful to have this site and all of you who read it.) Working on WiredPussy was wonderful for me and I feel so proud and sexy and safe and also interested in more…
Oh, and the best part? Sitting in the model lounge afterward and sharing my excitement with Syd and Vai, when in comes one of the hot folks from HR who announces, “Hey, don’t forget to come downstairs — I’m writing your checks right now.” Oh yeah! I had so much fun that I almost forgot about the money! Sweeeet!