by Jiz Lee ~ March 5, 2010
I’m honored to be a part of many films and websites nominated for the 2010 Feminist Porn Awards!
Last year, I performed in five nominated films; of them, Roulette won Most Diverse Cast, and Champion won Movie of the Year. Prior awarded films I’ve been a part of included The Crash Pad (Best Dyke Sex Scene!), Superfreak (Hottest Dyke Sex Scene), The Wild Search (Best Trans Sex Scene), Crash Pad Series Vol. 1 (Best Dyke Sex Film).
Needless to say, this is my kind of award ceremony! This year I appear in the following nominated films and websites:
Crash Pad Series 4: Rope Burn
Part of “The Crash Pad” legacy, this is from Shine Louise Houston. I had a scene with Dallas, which involved rope among other things. Fisting is not part of the DVD compilation, but it’s included in the scene on the website at CrashPadSeries.com. (I repeat: there is fisting on CPS — worth the membership!)
Dangerous Curves
I loved working with Carlos Batts for the first time on this film, which was shot out on a waterfall hike near Stinson Beach. It was the second time I shot with the gorgeous April Flores. It also had been a while since I had waxed all my hair off (the other time on film was in Superfreak) so you’ll see me bare in this film.
Seven Minutes in Heaven: Tender Hearted
A cameo! I have a 15 second cameo in this film, but it’s an important role — I bring the hot ‘n horny queer cast of Courtney Trouble’s Seven Minutes in Heaven something they can’t fuck without! (It was both real, AND included in the movie.) Though I really wish I could have stayed and sexed all those hotties.
Speakeasy
Another film by Courtney Trouble — this is by far the most beautiful rope play I’ve ever done to be caught on film. The scene is again with Dallas Fivestar, she tied me up in a suspension in a bar for the film. I played with gender presentation; Lorelei Lee did my femme make-up while wearing only her bra.
Websites are a new category this year and they include: JuicyPinkBox.com and NoFauxxx.com.
I’ll be attending the ceremonies, presented by Good For Her in Toronto, Canada. I’m looking forward to seeing April, Tristan Taormino, hanging out with Shine Louise Houston, the wonderful folks at Good For Her, including Allison Lee, and spending some quality time enjoying Toronto with Dylan Ryan and Judy Minx, Sophia St. James, and SF buddies Carson and Tina Horn. I’ll be shooting for Courtney Trouble with Bella Vendetta (who reminds me of my best friend in high school). I shot with her for CockSexual.com and am looking forward to having some one-on-one screen time with her. I’ll also be shooting with Maxwell Lander who I discovered recently through Dylan. I am obsessed with Max’s awesome photography!
Congratulations to the directors whose films I appear in: Carlos, Shine, Courtney and budding pornographer Jincey Lumpkin, Esq. Congrats to behind-the-scenes porn mavens Coyote Days and Jamie Martin from Good Releasing. Congrats to my prolific porno-pal Syd Blakovich for all the films she appears in. And congrats to my friends who were also nominated: Trannywood Pictures, Tristan, Madison Young, Jamye Waxman, Nica Noelle (Sinn Sage introduced me to her briefly at AEE), Buck Angel, Jennifer Lyon Bell, and folks who I would like to meet: Erika Lust, Kathryn Annelle, and Good Dyke Porn’s Bren Ryder.
Toronto, here I come!
by Jiz Lee ~ March 3, 2010
Just when I thought things were feeling slow in pornolandia, now it seems that there are a million opportunities and projects underway. I’m looking forward to some very exciting shoots coming up — more info on those soon — and I’m also very very excited about a new project that I just launched called Karma Pervs. Please read more about it!
I had been using all the money I had saved from porn to do things like pay off my student loans and get my upcoming LASIK eye surgery. It’s tax time, and every year I donate money to a number of national and local non-profits, and always wish I could do more. I hope this site will provide a little extra fiscal gratification to some of the localized/community focused non-profits I want to support.
I’m also love that it affords me the opportunity to get together with a lot of my photographer friends, and some new ones I look forward to meeting, to collaborate and take the photo sets that will posted on this site. This weekend is my last Intro to Digital Photography class and being on set with photographers has been really rewarding. I plan to post a set or two of photos taken by me as well!
If you can join my new little site, please do! And spread the word about it!
So go take a look at Karma Pervs!
by Jiz Lee ~ February 24, 2010
I’m excited to announce that I went to my LASIK pre-consultation today and it’s confirmed — I’m approved as a healthy candidate for the operation. I’m getting LASIK done next month!
When I started this site in 2007, I had a Paypal account set up to receive donations to go towards my hopeful surgery. I dream of having better eyesight. Of not having to rely on an endless order of contact lenses or my old pair of glasses — no matter how cute those of you who have seen me wearing them think they are! Maybe I’ll get a pair of non-prescription, just for the fun of it. Imagine!
I’m really looking forward to having good vision. I want to visit home (Maui, Hawai`i) and surf with my dad and siblings without loosing a lens to the ocean. I look forward to opening my eyes under the water when I’m swimming — I love the being in water so much I want to open my eyes and see underwater! I’d love to be able to fall asleep in lovers’ arms without having to jump up to take off my contacts. I’d like to be out and about without having to pack a bottle of solution with me. For the last 20 years of my life I’ve felt tied to a constant order and supply of prescriptions and lens cases and solution cleaners and I just cannot wait to finally be free of these things.
I know the risks, and I understand perfect vision isn’t permanent. By my 50’s I’ll likely have to wear glasses to read. This isn’t uncommon for most of us. I’m thinking now that I wish I had went with this operation even earlier in my life. But I’m so happy to be able to afford to do it now.
The adult industry paid off my student loans and the porn world is taking care of my vision. Thank you so much, people who supported me through donations back in 2007, those of you who bought memberships, films, or sex toys through my site and brought me commissions from your purchases. Thank you to all the pornographers I worked with who paid me the money to put aside in savings. Thank you to friends who shared information with me, like Dallas from Babeland’s Blog and Mz Berlin who chatted with me over the phone one night and told me all about her experience with LASIK. I’m very ready.
March 17th is my operation and the week prior I’ll be only wearing glasses to prepare my eyes. I’ll post more about the experience that week.
WOW. I can’t believe it’s really happening!
by Jiz Lee ~ February 20, 2010
It’s a Saturday night, and I’m at home for a moment uploading some photos I took for my digital photography class before going out again for a bit. Taking a photo class has given me a bright pair of eyes, and I’m seeing so much detail in the world it’s startling. The rooftops of buildings. Green grass growing through cracks in the sidewalk. Life is beautiful, intricate. In the meantime, I’ve had less work in the porn business. At least, it feels that way.
In 2009 I did so many projects. I did more films and website shoots in that single year than I had in the few leading up to it. And then all the rush of the AVNs came and then was “re-lived” over again via websites and places I was amazed at finding myself, such as Life Magazine, Village Voice, and interviews. And now, after films and shoots have released, and the interviews have slowed, at this very moment in time, if feels like porn has slowed down.
But I know it’s not “slowed down”. Or more specifically, I know that how fast it goes is not the point.
The rush is energizing, powerful. So much so that when the interviews slow, or the online mentions or the film projects are few, it almost seems like its ending. Or that the work I’m doing is somehow lessening. This is a strange feeling, and I know it’s conditional in spite of it’s newness.
Which leads me to a thought that I had realized long before my leap into adult work but never so strongly felt until now. Through my prior work as a professional modern dancer, as an arts administrator, as an artist, and as a driven person who also knows how to relax, all of this has contributed to my understanding that awards and recognition are nice — and helpful to the larger goal of visibility and legitimacy — but individually, acclaim is not the reason I’m doing this. So while it’s nice to have acknowledgement, I know that it’s not a meter of success and I can’t use fleeting moments of merit as a gauge to figure out “how I’m doing”.
Ultimately, what counts is my own experience, and how I determine whether it works for me is, up to me. So far, it’s nice to take a little breather, look forward to the next wave.
P.S. “Momentums” has a story: at the AVN awards I offered a program copy of 2010 AVN Awards show to Courtney Trouble, suggesting that we keep them as a ”momentum”. I had meant to say memento, as in a keepsake, however the word slipped off my tongue and it became a hell of a lot more poignant. Referring to the program copy as a momentum would foreshadow ideas that the ceremony was yet another ripple in a long path of this crazy artsy queer porn life. We didn’t win, but winnings not always the point.
by Jiz Lee ~ February 12, 2010
Amelia G. and Forrest Black just added a new update to Blueblood.com. I wrote about the first update in the post A Kind of Blue – First set from Jiz Lee & Syd Blakovich on BlueBlood.com. This shoot was taken on the same day — Syd, Forrest and I hiked up to a kinda/sorta secluded spot in the woods which featured some stunning blue graffiti. Syd packed the Njoy Eleven I gave her and we made use of it. There’s some other great shots but I like the action in this one the best.
See a free gallery, or join to see them all (including some great ones of us peeing, and some pretty darn emo ones, too) at BlueBlood.com.
by Jiz Lee ~ February 10, 2010
I was recently asked a question about suggestions for what harness to use for one of my favorite cocks, the Outlaw Dildo. A high quality silicone dildo, you can purchase the Outlaw at stores like Babeland and Good Vibrations, or from the San Francisco-based manufacturer Vixen Creations.
What makes wearing this cock tricky, besides the fact that the hefty dildo succumbs quite easily to gravity, is that it has an equally endowed set of silicone testicles and a base which is a lot wider than the flared bases of most strap-on dildos. Selecting a good sturdy harness that can fit this cock can prove a challenge. Here are some recommendations and suggestions I have to offer.
A single bottom strap of a “G-String” harness, though it could possibly rest in the realistic “groove” between the two gonads can likely slip off the silicone and cause the harness to loosen and the cock to slip around. Therefore I recommend sticking to 2-strap harnesses. The two bottom straps will go on either side of the balls. Even then, if they happen to slip to one side or the other, the “jock-strap” design of the straps will still keep the dick in place.
Next look at the style of snaps you have at the front of the strap-on. Sometimes the snaps are free floating (like the Outlaw-compatible Commando), however other times those harness snaps are connected to what’s called a “front shield” or my favorite, the “driver pad”. Here you’ll see them for the Jaguar Luxe Harness harness in this picture. Notice how they are fixed to the leather? Those cannot be adjusted. Due to the width of the base, the Outlaw will not fit within the snaps of the O-ring of the harness. Luckily, the triangular driver pad has a generous hole cut out of the leather, and Driver Pads with holes are how the harness will work with the Outlaw. (Feed the dildo through the hole, so that the base is resting flesh against your body and the shaft comes out through the O-ring. As mentioned above, the 2 bottom straps will best fit around the outsides of the balls, but it will likely still be comfortable and secure if they should slip.)
Another alternative is the very comfortable Spareparts Joque Harness. The sewn-in O-ring is very flexible and will accommodate the girth of even another favorite of mine, the Randy. The Joque Harness has a pouch that can hold the balls, they will be covered by the soft fabric of the harness.
Why have balls on the dildo? Well, some people like them, and some people don’t. And some people go either way. (I’m one of those.) If the size of the Outlaw is what’s attractive to you, and not the balls, I’d recommend the Maverick, which I am going to write about soon as a guest for Undressed Reviews. It is great. However if you are curious about the balls, the Outlaw has a great and functional display. Balls on a cock add more realism to the appearance. They also add more texture and material to feel, either with the rounded silicone pressed up against the sensitive skin around your lover’s genitals, or thud against them during thrusting. (For the wearer as well!) This additional sensation can also be easily enhanced with vibration by putting a vibrating cock ring on the base of the shaft or with experimentation, around just the balls.
Some harnesses that work with the Outlaw:
White Jaguar Luxe (notice how the strap slipped?), Joque, and TWO Caramel Outlaws.
Photo: Jiz Lee, Syd Blakovich, and Madison Young in Nostalgia; CourtneyTrouble.com
P.S. I want to try more harnesses out, and love finding new manufacturers online. Isn’t this harness from Top-to-Bottom Leathers beautiful? There’s also these and more at Stockroom and I would love to try something from InHerTube.com which makes custom goods from inner-tube!
by Jiz Lee ~ February 9, 2010
In the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti (donate to Red Cross or Doctors without Borders), I’ve started to have recurring dreams about preparing a survival kit for an upcoming earthquake. In my dream, I am laying in my bed, scanning my room and picking out which items I would pull together to put in a bag near the door. They include my passport, some cash, extra contact lenses, a change of clothes, and I think a hand-powered flashlight. Well, now that I’m awake I figure it’s about time to put this kit together.
It seemed especially timely when I noticed that Kimberly Kane had re-posted this Security Message (which she found on the blog of a friend of hers who works for the Camden, New Jersey Fire Department, original source not sited). Kimberly recommends Red Cross’s pre-made kit, and I couldn’t agree more. I love the Red Cross; back when I was a Water Safety Instructor in my swim coaching days I got a lot out of their First Aid for the Professional Rescuer and CPR courses.
What struck me as I pulled together toiletries, clothes, and documents, was that my survival kit was looking like an embellished version of my slut kit. Well, an over-night bag is what it is. I wonder if what I take with me when I leave my home is similar to that which other people pack on their nights out — whether it’s a trip to a bar, a play party, or porn shoot.
The slut kit, while it has many variations based on plans for the night, is essentially as follows:
SLUT KIT
- Toiletries (travel-sized toothbrush and contact lense solution)
- Cash and ID
- Lighter
- Power bar and water
- Warm clothing
Now, this kit can also include, depending on the occasion:
- Harness and cock (usually worn packing) see my Sex Toys list for ideas.
- Hitachi Magic Wand with extension cord; or
- Travel-friendly vibes like the Acuvibe Jr. or waterproof Mystic Wand. Plus Batteries.
- For bondage enthusiasts Hemp Starter Kit (one 30-foot and two10-foot length of 6mm and safety scissors…) is nice to have on hand. Of course you can add more, based on your experience.
- For porn shoots, this list includes 2 government issued IDs (and make-up powder).
Then, compare this list to the survival kit found on Ready.gov.
SURVIVAL KIT
WATER
- Store water in plastic containers such as soft drink bottles. Avoid using containers that will decompose or break, such as milk cartons or glass bottles. A normally active person needs to drink at least two quarts of water each day. Hot environments and intense physical activity can double that amount. Children, nursing mothers, and ill people will need more.
- Store one gallon of water per person per day. Don’t forget your pets.
- Keep at least a three-day supply of water per person (two quarts for drinking, two quarts for each person in your household for food preparation/sanitation).
- Change this water every six months. Household liquid bleach to kill microorganisms:
- Use only regular household liquid bleach that contains 5.25 percent sodium hypochlorite. Do not use scented bleaches, colorsafe bleaches or bleaches with added cleaners.
- Add 16 drops of bleach per gallon of water, stir and let stand for 30 minutes. If the water does not have a slight bleach odor, repeat the dosage and let stand another 15 minutes.
- The only agent used to treat water should be household liquid bleach. Other chemicals, such as iodine or water treatment products sold in camping or surplus stores that do not contain 5.25 percent sodium hypochlorite as the only active ingredient, are not recommended and should not be used.
FOOD
- Ready-to-eat canned meats, fruits, vegetables.
- Canned juices, milk, soup
- Sugar, salt, pepper
- High energy foods such as peanut butter, jelly, crackers, granola bars, trail mix; foods that will not increase thirst.
- Vitamins
- Foods for infants, elderly, persons with special dietary needs
- Comfort/stress foods: cookies, hard candy, sweetened cereals, lollipops, instant coffee, tea bags.
- Pet food, at least one ounce per animal pound per day.
- Avoid foods like rice, pasta and dry beans that require a great deal of water to prepare. Remember to restock your food once a year.
FIRST AID KIT
- Sterile adhesive bandages in assorted sizes
- Assorted sizes of safety pins
- Cleansing agent/soap
- Latex gloves (2 pairs)
- Sunscreen
- 2-inch sterile gauze pads (4-6)
- 4-inch sterile gauze pads (4-6)
- Triangular bandages (3)
- Non-prescription drugs such as Pain relievers, Anti-diarrhea medicines, Antacid, Syrup of Ipecac (used to induce vomiting with the advice of a Poison Control Center), Laxatives, Activated charcoal (used with advice from the Poison Control Center)
- Various roller bandages
- Scissors
- Tweezers
- Needle
- Moistened towelettes
- Antiseptic
- Thermometer
- Tongue blades (2)
- Tube of petroleum jelly or other lubricant
TOOLS AND SUPPLIES
- Paper cups, plates, and plastic utensils
- Battery-operated radio and extra batteries
- Flashlight and extra batteries
- Cash or traveler’s checks, in case banks are closed in the days following an earthquake
- Non-electric can opener or a utility knife
- Small fire extinguisher
- Pliers
- Tape
- Matches in a waterproof container
- Aluminum foil
- Plastic storage containers
- Signal flare
- Paper, pencil
- Needles, thread
- Medicine dropper
- Wrench, to turn off gas and water
SANITATION
- Toilet paper
- Soap, liquid detergent
- Feminine supplies
- Plastic garbage bags and ties
- Plastic bucket with tight lid
- Disinfectant
- Household chlorine bleach
- Poop bags and scooper for pet waste
CLOTHING AND BEDDING
- Sturdy shoes or work boots (keep near your bed)
- Rain gear
- Blankets or sleeping bags
- Warm clothing
- Sunglasses (keep your spare eyeglasses in the emergency kit, too.)
DOCUMENTS
- Will, insurance policies, contracts deeds, stocks and bonds
- Passports, social security cards, immunization records
- Bank account numbers
- Credit card account numbers and companies
- Inventory of valuable household goods, important telephone numbers
- Family records (birth, marriage, death certificates)
It’s amazing how much is on this list, and how vital all of it could be to survival. What do you pack to feel prepared? I often pack on the light-side, bringing with me the bare-minimum. When I fly I rarely check bags. Being a sucker for lists, though, packing for survival seems like something worth the excess. I’m used to being on the road and preparing for the unexpected. If the big one were to hit California, maybe people in the sex industry will have a plan.
by Jiz Lee ~ February 3, 2010
Photographer Dave Naz is working on a new series about queer folks on the masculine spectrum (including but not limited to: butches, bois, boys, butch, trans, FtMs, genderqueers, trans dykes, etc… the use of labels is to reach out to models of various identities who relate to the project.)
He’ll be shooting in LA, and traveling up to San Francisco in March to shoot some more.
UPDATE! Dave will be shooting on Thursday March 18th at 1-5PM in San Francisco. All models welcome to contact him directly to be a part of his series.
Models need not have prior experience, and nudity is not required. Here’s just a peek at some of my favorite photos from the set we recently took. I’ll be posting more soon. If you’re interested or think you might know someone who is, please check out his site DaveNaz.com for more info about the series.
What’s a “finger dick”? Well… scroll down, and I’ll show ya.
by Jiz Lee ~ January 27, 2010
I’ve got to hand it to porn reviewers, this is hard work and not for everyone! When HotMoviesForHer.com asked me if I’d be interested in reviewing a film or two on their site I thought I’d give it a go. So I tried to sit down with a double-whammy, comparing “Hole” to “The Hole”.
What’s up with all the Holes? Well you see, “The Hole” is one of Shine Louise Houston’s favorite films and I’ve yet to see it so you know it’s on my list. You can hear her and Violet Blue in an early podcast sharing their love for this flick. “The Hole” is Wash West’s porn parody (way before the porn parodies of our day) of “The Ring” (a remake of “Ringu”), where some men sit around watching a DVD that turns out to be Gay Porn and it turns them GAY! Or so I’m told, I’ve still yet to see it as I accidentally found myself viewing some other film by the same name. I mean, how many holes ARE there?
Delightfully bad 90’s music, cute hard bodies in construction hats and what looks to be the backdrop of a contractor’s office and a job site set the stage for “The Hole“. Good blowjobs and lots of rimming, men smiling and putting their backs into getting ass-fucked. A charmingly awkward script that makes you just chuckle. Oh, and rubbing cocks over underwear. Very hot. So this “The Hole” was good and all, but not what I expected. After hours of watching gay porn, I still have yet to find “THE Hole!”
Either way, this “The Hole” was miles apart from the first film I was set to watch and compare, “Hole“.
Now, before I start I have to say that if something’s not my taste, this doesn’t mean that it can’t be someone else’s best thing ever. Porn is porn, sex is sex, and we’re all pervs.
“Hole” is a filthy raunchy fist-pumping fuck-fest, complete with pissing, bare-back (no condoms) sex, muscular men, Daddies, Leather, plenty of fisting and large toys including an intimidating double-dildo and a rubber leg… which I kind of want! There was also the huffing of poppers or “Tape Head Cleaners”, and also a moment of anal bleeding. Personally, I become concerned when there is tissue damage and was too distracted by the close-ups of men pulling poppers to their noses — to me it seemed that there was more nasal action than anal action.
I did enjoy the nice long close-up of deep dicking, the extremely muscular arms pumping very deep into assholes, and both a double-fisting (with two fists in one asshole) and a double fisting (of one man fisting two guys at the same time, each taking either of his fists). There was also use of a sex swing, and a chain of three gorgeously ripped guys. One of them had a very sweet ass. I was expecting to see lots of hole stuffing and cramming, and that’s what I got! I also wanted to watch intensive fisting, so it was a pleasure to see such thick strong arms pumping into men’s buttholes. Fisting was a focus of the film, and though I’ve not been anally fisted I love — okay, prefer — vaginal fisting durring sex, and so the feeling when watching this film, imagining the fullness, was nice.
I also surprised myself with a swig of beer durring the exact moment a stream of piss flew out of a particularly sausage-like penis. And I attempted to “live tweet” the evening, but quickly lost interest (and so did some followers, haha) which makes me think maybe talking about porn while it’s happening isn’t my strongest suit. Reviewing sexy guys doing the dirty, not too bad for a night in. All in all though, I think I’ll leave the porn reviewing to the pros at HotMoviesForHer.com.
But I STILL want to watch “THE Hole”!
by Jiz Lee ~ January 13, 2010
Jinx! This is a “Blog Jinx” by me and Courtney Trouble. From time to time we agree to schedule a blog post on the same topic, to be published at the same time. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours… Check out hers at CourtneyTrouble.com.
It’s been three full days since I’ve returned from Las Vegas where I attended AEE/AVN Awards for the first time. For those unfamiliar with those ABCs, that’s the Adult Entertainment Expo/Adult Video News Awards. It is a major industry event and is about as mainstream as it comes.
“I can’t tweet.” was a big theme of the weekend. With so much going on, staying updated online was nearly impossible, let alone describing it all. Even this blog recap proves a challenge, so I’ll hit the highlights. I was glad I attended AEE because…
I got to see friends and those whose work I respect.
While I didn’t get a chance to reconnect with everyone this trip, and though many didn’t make it out to Las Vegas, the fact that I was able to see many friends such as bloggers, editors, sex toy makers, pornstars, and directors – all in the same place — made the trip worthwhile. I loved stealing a kiss from Belladonna as she signed autographs at AEE. It was nice to run into many of the bloggers, photographers, and all-around perverts such as Lux from Fleshbot Awards, Diva from NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar, Bronques from LastNightsParty.com and Carnal Nation’s Theresa, Shaye and John. Meeting Gram Ponante was worth the price of the plane ticket alone! Also Twisted Monk, Essin’em, Allison Lee from GoodForHer.com, AAG, and the graciously charming Jamye Waxman. The list is long.
I loved shuffling towards the Red Carpet with Joanna Angel and her alt porn posse. Alt porn and queer porn, side by side in more ways than one this year. And though neither the BA crew nor the Queer Porn Mafia (which now includes honorary inductee April Flores) took home any trophies, I was happy that hard working women like Belladonna, Kimberly Kane, Sasha Grey, Bobbi Starr, and Tristan Taormino were recognized for their work.
It was also amazing to see again stars like Satine Phoenix, Sinn Sage, Dana DeArmond, Wolf Hudson, April Flores, Madison Young, and Director Carlos Batts and Anna Devia, The Great Tyrant, as well as meet new folks like Violet Monroe, Ryan Keely, Kelly Shibari, Eon McKai – he is too cool for words.
I was also happy to meet up with stores I love and respect. It was a haven to have a home base at Good Vibes / Good Releasing booth, where I interviewed with Dylan Ryan and Eve Minax from Carnal Nation. I also enjoyed meeting with hotties of The Stockroom, with whom I am really looking forward to more opportunities.
I got to crush out on talented people!
Sasha Grey! I got to do a G4 interview with Sasha Grey. And though my heart was spilling out my pant leg and my vocabulary was reduced to an ear-to-ear grin, I got to stand with her, hug her, and tell her in person that I want to work with her. Dream. Reality. I love her for many reasons. Her mission and belief that porn can positively effect people’s sexualities and make the world a better place matches mine!
Adrianna Nicole! She was sitting upstairs looking gorgeous, and smiled at me. It’s hard to describe how she felt, when I took a seat next to her and flirted. So friendly and welcoming, I want to touch her all over. I chatted with Tristan Taormino (who was also great to see again!) briefly after the show and I hope something some time can manifest. There’s something about her sexuality that feels very solid and enveloping… wow.
Nina Hartley! At the Good Vibes / Good Releasing mustache party, Nina Hartley waved at me. Seconds later she was at my side, taking my hair firmly in her grip and setting her teeth down on my earlobe. I melted. She’s like a sexual psychic. Later on the AEE floor we caught eyes and she mimed a hair grabbing motion. I think my knees buckled. Mommy! Please have Nina Hartley descend down upon me.
I got to see a piece of the industry, from the inside.
AEE/AVN is not the end-all, be-all of the porn industry. I knew this coming in and I know it better coming out. Throughout my explorations of a career in queer porn, I will constantly be faced with challenges, be it exploitation, financial risks and rewards, the goal of remaining true to myself and my values. Psyching myself out about the possibilities of winning was good for me. Writing acceptance speeches is a good exercise in recognizing who you are, how you got there, and who you couldn’t have done it without. While out and about I saw how invisible I was – a reflection of the Straight/Gay website categories, played out in real life on the AEE floor and the red carpet. It was important to feel this while knowing my value. As much as AEE was not my scene, I was able to navigate and not get lost. In explaining how what I do isn’t Girl/Girl, or what the word “GenderQueer” means on the back of my business card, I found myself articulating and expanding my own path.
I got to bring visibility of myself and queers.
There’s a major shift happening in the mainstream adult industry, which includes increased queer visibility. For me, the term “Mainstream” is just as much about distribution as it is any broadly defined aesthetic we can assign it. It is for this reason that I believe increased access to diverse representations of sexualities and gender expressions is a good thing.
A lot of records were broken this year, and I’m thrilled to be in the midst of blowing minds. As I said previously, I believe the recognition queers received this year was better than Hollywood. I’ll have to do some fact checking, but I believe I may have been the first queer porn star to be nominated and receive a blow-job while walking down the red carpet, all on the same night.
And I got to experience all of this, within my family.
Part of the SF Porn Posse aka the Queer Porn Mafia attended AEE/AVN this year. We were each nominated and invited to be there, and supported each other to the fullest. Dylan Ryan also blogged the days as a contributor on HotMoviesForHer.com with reports 1, 2, 3, and 4. We shared a suite with a Roman Luv Tub. I couldn’t have imagined a better crew to snuggle, eat with, and share humidified air together. You ladies made this trip for me.
If you followed our Tweets, those that we were able to squeeze out, you’d see that we ended our trip in a whirlwind adventure after our phones had died, only alluded to on Twitter…
TheDylanRyan: @courtneytrouble @jizlee Last night was epic. Remember when I went for a swim in the mirage fntn, courtney table danced & we got kidnapped?
CourtneyTrouble: @TheDylanRyan @jizlee i think i blacked out the table dancing but i do totally remember taking shots of of evan stone’s abs at MGM
TheDylanRyan: @courtneytrouble @jizlee Shit I forgot about Evan Stone! Was that Sean Michaels who drove the getaway car after our guitar heist @ Hardrock?
JizLee: @TheDylanRyan @courtneytrouble it was! Just got home. These matching tattoos we got are off the hook!
TheDylanRyan: @jizlee @courtneytrouble Wait! you have tattoos on your right butt cheek that say “Queer Porn Mafia for Life” TOO? Amazing.
JizLee: @TheDylanRyan @courtneytrouble You know when we were given keys to the city? I think I forgot mine at the hotel. Will you check your bags?
TheDylanRyan: @jizlee I think U gave yours 2 the Elvis @ the Little White Chapel when U & @courtneytrouble got hitched 2 the boys from Thunder Down Under.
TheDylanRyan @courtneytrouble @jizlee @fatty_d Remember that time we all won Most Outrageous Red Carpet Moment? I love you kids in a big way.
And that’s the truth.
