It’s a question I get asked a lot and it’s a fairly simple answer: Yes, many close family members know that I do porn, and they support me. And some of them don’t know yet because I want to come out to them when the time is right.

Simple enough on the surface, but there’s much more.

Without getting into too much specifics, because I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to speak on behalf of someone else with such a personal topic, I’ll share some of thoughts I’ve had since coming out a few years ago.

1. Coming out about porn can mean coming out about other things.
In my case, my porn involves a lot of aspects of my personal life. This means incorporating queer and kinky sex with many of my lovers, my gender expression, and this very website with my blog describing how I enjoy sex work and think it’s fun and healthy. That sentence alone incorporates at least five things to come out about, besides porn itself: My 1) queer sexuality; 2) Kink; 3) polyamorous lifestyle; 4) genderqueer/trans* identity; and, 5) sex work as sex-positive pleasure.

It can difficult to come out as just one of these things, so the fact that they’re wrapped up in one another adds complications. Since my teenage years, I’ve come out as gay, then poly, and the last three all together.

2. You don’t just come out once.
As I’ve come out over the years about different things, I’ve come to understand that the act of coming out is not a one-time event. It’s not like once you’ve come out, it’s over and things are either fine or they’re not. There are the on-going discussions that come up and there’s further outings that happen (either by you or other people, sometimes accidentally). It takes an open heart to commit to being honest about the fears and anger that can arise, and to communicate these feelings in a healthy way.

I’m blessed to have a lot of love in my family. And that love is there even when there is fear or confusion.

3. There’s very few resources.
Books have been written for parents of transgender youth, for teens on coming out as queer, and BDSM lifestyles such as ”When Someone You Love is Kinky“. When one of my partners and I were first exploring non-monogamy, we found “The Ethical Slut” and “Opening Up” full of helpful information. And while there are books about sex work and sex & culture, there’s not much specific to pornography. Of the sex educators and sexologists I’ve asked, it seems that this book has yet to be written.

For a brief history on the beginnings of the porn industry as we know it, check out Michael Stabile’s documentary “SMUT CAPITAL OF AMERICA“.  A strange fact is that the very people I’m coming out to have been alive longer than the industry itself. Porn — at least the kind that’s sold online and in stores for personal viewing — hasn’t been around for very long. Perhaps the fact that it’s still so new is one reason why there’s not a lot published on the subject.

Another reason of course, is the subject itself.

4. Porn is a four-letter word.
One of the reasons it took me so long to come out was my fear that I would be judged and I would lose my family’s love. No matter how brilliant and loving someone is, I still am afraid that coming out to them will cause them to think poorly of me, pulling from society’s stereotypes of sex workers being naive or damaged victims, powerless or coerced. There’s so much shame around sex in our culture, that even though it’s legal and very common, there’s stigma around P-O-R-N. (On a side note, many of the people I’ve worked with refuse to call their work “porn” because of these terrible associations. For myself though, I think that breaking down the stereotypes is part of the process. While much of the work I do can be described as erotic, sexual documentary and adult cinema, and my intentions can gravitate towards sex-positive representation and alternative views of healthy sexuality through working primarily with people whom I’ve loved… at the end of the day: I did porn.

5. The Internet is Forever.
Part of my organic, “self-agent process” entails my decisions to meet directors and co-stars before agreeing to on a project. And if that can’t happen for whatever reason, they must come with strong references or recommendation from people I know. When you perform in porn, you sign the rights of your image over to a producer. When a sexual image of you is published online, it’s there forever. It’s downloaded to user’s computers, it’s shared on Tumblr, and as much as you might try to control it… once it’s done, it’s done. This is the reason I try to work with directors and producers who I feel understand and respect me and my identity. The process of putting myself out there in ways I have some control over, establishing my identity and creating representations of people like me, outweigh the dangers of people behaving with malicious or exploitative intentions. It’s a known risk, and one I’m willing to take even though it can be frightening, especially for loved ones.  It can also mean that you can be outed through an image online at any given time… regardless if it’s flattering or not.

So where am I now?

Honestly, I think I’m still the same place I was before I first came out, only now I can share my excitement and pride in my accomplishments. How GOOD it feels to not have to tell white lies about my trips abroad, traveling half-way around the world to “visit friends”. I hate lying. I feel more shame in the fact that I lied to my family, than I ever will about the sex I had on film.

And coming out hasn’t changed my decisions about doing porn. (Although knowing that my family can read my blog means I’ll try to remember to proofread.) As always, I’ll continue to do projects which I think are satisfying to me while exploring the genre — in a way that is safe and sustainable, and teaches me and others about sex and pleasure. From the beginning, each project I do is a choice. Even though I can’t claim that they’ve all been brilliant, shining examples of my sex-positive philosophy, and that sometimes I work with a production that probably wasn’t the best fit, each project has been lesson in helping me define and articulate the power I have of my own sexuality and autonomy.

So, I feel proud about all this. And, I want to ask for your help.

I wrote this blog post in hopes that it will help me form my thoughts about coming out, and maybe it can offer something to you. But I need more resources. Do you know a good book or blog post I can use to create a “syllabus” of supporting materials to help other performers, families and friends find the information and validation they need to come out? (This information will help me and my own family too, that’s for certain!)

In addition to books and links, I’d like personal stories.

To be truthful, I’m not sure what I will do with these stories yet. That might be determined by how many of you share them with me. I might want to publish them in an eBook. Or simply share them on this blog. Or on Tumblr. As far as I know, this book has not been written, despite how helpful I think it might be. I know performers who have had beautiful coming out stories with their families, and some who have not. I know performers who are parents themselves, and so coming out involves age appropriate information for youth.  I also have youth in my life who I will someday decide to share some level of information about what I do. I’d rather they hear it from me than their friends. So, what was your experience like? Or what information do you withhold? If you or someone in your family hasn’t done porn, do you talk about watching it? Or do you protect your files? Are there other coming out stories you think are relevant? I want very much to hear about experiences other than my own, so I’m putting out a call for submissions.

Coming Out About Porn

Please send me your porn coming out story. You can write anonymously, you can share your book or other resources with me.

Submissions should be approximately 1000 words.

Email word documents to jiz@jizlee.com.

Feel free to submit work you’ve already published, or work you’re planning to publish.

I will reply to everyone by the end of March.  Feel free to repost.

Thank you everyone, for the support you’ve given to me through your emails and messages, for purchasing my work, for respecting my gender pronouns and sexuality, for inspiring me to write and share my experiences, and more. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

We always hear about “saving the children” from things like porn and homosexuals… but judging from this video, it’s we who need saving from them.

(Behind the Music: The catchy song is by a mysterious band named Sdia Project (Sdia is AIDS spelled backwards), a cleverly designed *viral* campaign from the Israel Aids Task Force and Y&R Tel Aviv to promote Worlds AIDS Day, Dec 1st. Let’s hope their music and message continues to spread!)

So much Gay!

Every June San Francisco’s Queer Arts Festival bursts with events. Being gay, it’s always a super busy month! Here’s what I’ve got going on, you ready?

Wednesday June 22nd
SF Bay June Queer/Leather Happy Hour – Pride Edition
The Mix SF

Come to happy hour at the Mix and celebrate being gay as shit with some old friends and maybe make some new ones too. Ms SF Leather 2010 Leo Peralta will be hosting and IMsL Producer Emeritus Levi Halberstadt will be in the house. Ms Alameda County Leather 2010 Trinity, Mr. SF Leather 2011 Daren Bondy, International Ms Leather Owner and Producer Glenda Rider, Ms Alameda County Leather 2009 Deborah Isadorah, International Ms Bootblack 2008 Q and Sexy Ass Queer SF Porn Star Jiz Lee. American Leather Woman 2008 may make it out too… the list goes on and on! There will be cruising, hot perverts, and as much pride as you can handle. All genders and nice people welcome.

Come celebrate the beginning of a long and beautiful weekend with me!

Friday June 24th
Original Plumbing Magazine’s UNOFFICIAL II Trans Pride Party

Come celebrate Trans Pride UNOFFICIALLY at Original Plumbing’s 2nd annual after party: UNOFFICIAL! Just blocks away from Dolores Park, post-Trans March, upstairs at the Elbo Room on Valencia Street. DJ RapidFire and DJ Bunnystyle spinning all the jams! Hosted by Hailey Laws / Young Zed! JM mans the manic merch table — hocking OP’s new GREEN issue, which features a spread starring Go Go Faun of the evening, Puck Goodfellow! doorLADY Starr Violet ! Hot Go Go’s *JIZ Lee *KELLY Lovemonster *PUCK Goodfellow and *MORE Trans cruising (!) musing (*) bruising (?) Bump and grind and find a cutie to celebrate with for the rest of the weekend. Transsexualizing what “Pride” means to us. 2 years in a row. Join the community in celebration. Promote trans visibility in a space for trans people, allies and loves of all genders.

I’m Go-Go Dancing around midnight! There will be underwear involved.

Saturday June 25th
Dyke March Pink Saturday
Rally in Dolores Park 3–7 pm
The San Francisco Dyke March is for dykes. Dykes gather at the Dyke March to celebrate our love and passion for women and for ALL dykes. We celebrate our queerness in all its manifestations. We understand dyke identity to include those of us who are questioning and challenging gender constructs and the social definitions of women: transdyke, MTF, transfeminine, transmasculine, genderqueer, and gender fluid dykes. We also welcome all women who want to support dykes to march with us. Celebrate dyke diversity!

I’ll be there, bumping into dykes.

Pride Sunday June 26th
Queerly Beloved 3-8pm EL RIO
Buying tickets through brownpapertickets.com will garner you as a VIP for the event, which means you’ll get a giftbag full of goodies, and you’ll be ON THE LIST, you don’t have to stand in line! These tickets will only be $8 for the first week of sales, so order now before they go up!!!

ICY LYTES (girl/boy queer hip hop duo from Los Angeles), ALOTTA BOUTTE performing her legendary burleqsue!!! DJ Jenna Riot & DJ Bianca Oblivion spinning dance club, top 40, hip hop, and nasty jams to grind to! Performance by ledgendary queer Porn Stars JIZ LEE and DYLAN RYAN, Queer, all-gender Wet T Shirt Contest! Wet, Hot, Go-Go Dancers, Hosted by queer porn icon Courtney Trouble & drag superstar Dommenique St. Putain.

Did you like the video above? Mickey Mod filmed the Queerly Beloved promo video for me and Dylan Ryan (with fluffer help from his lovely assistant, B). We will be performing around 6pm that day. You know you want to watch us.

Pride Sunday June 27th-29th
THIS IS WHAT I WANT
Simply stated – This is What I want is a 4 day festival of new work that deal with sex created by SF/Bay Area dance and performance artists. Within this forum, a bunch of exceedingly smart and crafty artists get together and tell the truth about some things that otherwise might be kept silent. Produced by: Jesse Hewit, Rachael Dichter and THEOFFCENTER; Curated by: Jesse Hewit, Rachael Dichter, Keith Hennessy, Jiz Lee, and Michelle Tea. (Read all about it.)

I was honored to help curate this show, a difficult job — proof that the desire for this kind of performative dialog is loud and strong. Join me in watching thirteen artists show us what they want. I want you to come.

Last year I attended the 1st Ecosexual Symposium held in Los Angeles, presenting on Green Porn with director Carlos Batts and his muse (and my doll) April Flores. We showed a clip from the waterfall scene in Dangerous Curves featuring April, Syd Blakovich, and myself. The scene was also presented for this year’s symposium events at an ecosexual queer porn screening. It was a pleasure to watch it again in a garden at night with a bunch of queers, beers, and blankets. Kitty Stryker was there and blogged about it on PurrVersatility. By the way, you can watch the Dangerous Curves trailer, and buy it at GoodVibes.com or order a custom signed copy through emailing me at jiz @ jizlee . com.

This year I’m also moderating the “Ecosex & Art” Panel, which will be held at the Center for Sex & Culture 2:30-4pm today.

What defines ecosexual art, or ecorotic art? Green Porn? The Urban Dictionary defines “Ecosexual” as: A term describing a person, in a dating sense, who is social and environmentally conscious. Similar to metrosexual, but for someone who wears and buys organic items and drives a hybrid car.
ie: I would love to date an ecosexual person so we can go to the farmers market together.

In our fast food culture, we consume fast sex. If there’s a slow foods movement, what would a slow sex movement look like? As Annie says, “We aim to make the environmental movement more fun, sexy, and diverse.” Bringing art into the equation is the key and Ecosexual is where art meets theory, meets practice, meets activism. Keith Bowers writes in the SF Weekly, Ecosex “involves using sex and sexuality to raise awareness about environmental and sustainability issues. More than “doing it green,” they say, it’s a way to make the movement itself more sexy and fun.” I see the ecosexual movement as a beautiful and highly creative way to bring awareness to the joys of sexual pleasure and human life. Though you may have found this blog through porn, I also have a background in art and performance, and am from Hawai`i where the connection to the land (`Aina) was a large part of my upbringing. So I’m thrilled to participate in the symposium and introduce Ecosex & Art’s panelists Tessa Wills, Penny Slinger, Tania Hammidi, and Dylan Bolles & Sasha Hom.

Tessa Wills: Anal Ecology; A Dedication to the Earth
Penny Slinger: The Dakinis as EcoSexual Ambassadors
Tania Hammidi Ph.D.: Olive Tree Hug
Dylan Bolles & Sasha Hom: The Myth of Ten Thousand Things

Here are their bios, as posted on sexecology.org:

Artists:

Tessa Wills is a choreographer and a Live Artist. Her current concerns in practice are wounds, punctures, liminality and the movement organizing principles of birds. She is honoured to continue her working relationship with Stephens and Sprinkle by restaging this collaboration with Harold Burns as a dedication to the Earth. Burns is a Bay Area performer, activist and educator, and member of the offcentre (theoffcenter.org). This duet is was origionally inspired by Chaignord and Bengolea’s performance “Paqurette”. Costumes by Honey McMoney (honeymcmoney.com). Equipment and education from Eve Minax (eveminax.com) Madame Pele (madamegoddess.com) and Kirk Read (kirkread.com). Burns and Wills next perform for the festival ‘This is What I Want” in June, and premier a new full length piece at Counterpulse on August 12th and 13th. tessawills.com Tessa is supporting the feild of the providers ally; a resource for professionals. lillyally.com

Wills and Burns will present “Anal Ecology; A Dedication to the Earth” on the EcoSex Art Panel.

 

Penny Slinger is an artist, writer and filmmaker who has not only championed the liberation of sexuality and the feminine, but actively forged new paths. Her art and techniques have been on the cutting edge of new realities since she emerged onto the London art scene at the end of the 1960s. Using herself as her own muse, she stripped away the layers of the feminine psyche as ‘the ultimate expose’ in photocollages and sculptures featuring life casts. Her artwork has been widely exhibited and a number of books and videos of her work have been published. She co-authored and illustrated ‘Sexual Secrets, The Alchemy of Ecstasy’ (1979), a seminal work bringing Tantra to a wider audience. Her current work, the 64 Dakini Oracle, has been many years in the making. The images are highly detailed digital collages, which Penny recognizes as a new medium for fine art. The oracle comprises 64 Divine Feminine archetypes in the form of a Goddess Temple for our time. pennyslinger.com and 64dakinioracle.org

Penny Slinger will present “The Dakinis as EcoSexual Ambassadors”on the EcoSex Art Panel.

 

Tania Hammidi is a conceptual artist, educator, and freelance writer. She teaches design and queer theory at California College of Art and the University of California, Davis. She holds a Ph.D. in Critical Dance Studies, curates LGBTQ fashion events, and likes trees … a lot. More info: taniahammidi.com (Photo by Blanca Muñoz.)

Hammidi will present on the EcoSex and Art Panel. Hammidi’s talk is entitled “Olive Tree Hug”

 

Myth of Ten Thousand Things is a family project. In poetic song-like
structures Sasha Hom speaks of all the impossible places we make our
homes, while Dylan Bolles plays various instruments, sometimes
singing. We work in the mess and see what happens. Dylan Bolles makes performances with people and environments, many of
which involve the design and construction of new musical instruments
 and the cultivation of co-creative relationships through listening
 practice. Sasha Hom writes all kinds of things, but most of her time is spent chasing after her daughters. Sometimes she writes about this too. To check out more of her work and see her publications: SashaHom.com

Bolles and Hom will present on the EcoSex Art Panel. Their presentation is entitled ” The Myth of Ten Thousand Things.”

Moderator:

Jiz Lee is genderqueer pornstar known for an androgynous gender-bending appearance, copious female ejaculation, champion fisting, cock slinging, and light-hearted attitude about sex. The Feminist Porn Award-winning performer works with celebrated female filmmakers and advocates ethical porn as an author and speaker. With one foot in the Bay Area arts scene, Jiz holds a BA in Dance and has a background in arts management and performance as one-half of the art duo Twincest (RIP). At last year’s Ecosex Symposium, Jiz presented “Dangerous Curves” by Carlos Batts and April Flores, where the road to beautiful, hard to reach places was metaphorically portrayed through hardcore sex in luscious natural environments. This year Jiz is honored to moderate the Ecosex & Art Panel. (Photo: Tristan Crane/Karma Pervs)

Please come if you can, and if you’re not able, do check out the websites of these artists and other participants of the Ecosexual Symposium II.

Also, I would be remiss to not include in this post one of my favorite ecosexual art happenings on the internet, Isabella Rossellini’s “Green Porno” on the Sundance Channel!

The series is called Cherry, and it’s from a new endeavor by Digital Playground with strong director/writer Kay Brandt and JewelBox Films. While many lesbian porn fans are familiar with high production shoots, the series marks a new direction for DP  as their very first “Girl/Girl” film after years in the industry. The storyline is complex and commanded beautifully by mainstream crossover actress Judy Thompson, who I loved getting to know on set. Fans of the L Word who wished for more sex will eat this up, and appreciate a convincing cast. In addition to contract star Riley Steele, it also casts strong lesbian sex performers such as Sinn Sage (who I shot with for Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes), Kimberly Kane, and I had the pleasure of meeting and flirting on set with Celeste Star and Missy Martinez.

While in my work in this, like my work with other Los Angeles companies, is labeled as “G/G”, I hail from a more gender fluid genre of queer porn and personally identify as androgynous/genderqueer. So even though I’m not necessarily a “girl”, my participation in these films is a marked difference from their past productions and the aesthetic of traditional porn models.

And it feels different than shooting queer porn, but the experience was very unique and important. Even the act of walking on set with a shaved head felt like a special occasion. I’ve heard from many female models in the industry that they wish they could cut their hair shorter but are pressured not to do it for fear of loosing work. It’s definitely a big deal for models who rely on their careers and booked shoots. Because I have other careers running parallel to my performances in porn, I have the privellege of being able to look how I like, and be pretty picky about what projects I decide to do. I’ve turned down several mainstream opportunities in the past because I didn’t feel they were the right involvement for me. While working with Digital Playground was something I would have never thought I’d be doing, Kay’s project with Jewelbox Films felt important and I was honored to be invited. I feel that my presence in the work is highly visible and creates more possibility within gender expression in pornography, that I hope can be a trend in mainstream production.

I’m proud to be a part of it, to explain my identity in the Behind the Scenes Trailers, and to meet and work with some really sweet people. So far there have been two releases: I have some cameo shots in Cherry 1, and a fantastic sex scene in Cherry 2 with down-to-earth BABE and my chosen co-star, Andy San Dimas.

Imagine yourself at a dance club, where a smoking hot and seemingly inapproachable DJ is playing all the right songs, and you wish more than anything you could catch their attention and lure them away from the booth for just a moment…

That fantasy is played out in my scene with Andy, a fast fuck that takes place in-between my DJ sets long enough to pull her dress up and screw her against a hallway wall. We don’t even have time to take our clothes off, let alone lift up our shirts. Which if you’ve ever had sex on the dance floor or tucked in the corner of a club, seems pretty realistic to me. We have great chemistry and you can catch moments of our shoot in the trailer.

The second installment of Digital Playground’s all-vagina soap opera brings us much joy, many orgasms, and most importantly, the one and only Jiz Lee as a DJ with serious strap-on skills. …Jiz wields a cock with style and aplomb, and even when they have to fuck a standing Andy from behind with their pants around their ankles, they simply go into a backbend and find the perfect angle of penetration. Why is Jiz so good at this? … a little confidence and creativity make it feel natural and then everybody gets sweaty and exhausted.
- Ottimo Massimo, Fleshbot.com

Order Cherry 1 & 2 from GoodVibes.com.

Image: J-Bird. Click for larger view.

Many of you may remember my work with photographer Shilo McCabe in the book “The New Lesbian Sex Book, 3rd Edition“. And recently, I’m featured in more of her photography in the German book “Mein Heimliches Auge” 2011 from Konkursbuch. Shilo also was the photographer of one of my most recent Karma Pervs fundraiser which benefited to anonymous youth organizations, and we also contributed an image for ShibariReleif, which donated auction bids to the Red Cross for the relief efforts in Japan. Needless to say, she’s a brilliant photographer and I’m thoroughly impressed with her newest project with collaborator Airial Clark, The Sex Positive Photo Project.

Celebrating May is National Masturbation Month, Shilo posted an image of masturbation each day to the photo blog, capturing people from many wanks of life, as well as their thoughts on masturbation in a short statement accompanying each photo. I was tickled pink to be the blog’s final 31st day. And the shoot we did was phenomenal — I really love posing outdoors!

It was a beautiful day. Here’s some photos I took during the trip.

And here is just one of the many images taken from the shoot itself, which I’m happy to say will be one of the future Karma Pervs updates! That day I also used a Nobessence wooden dildo on the shore, took my waterproof mystic wand vibrator into the chilling Pacific Ocean tide. Just wait till you see  the rest…

I masturbate for thrill, for release, for relaxation, for a hangover cure, for fun, and for art… and for sex-positive masturbation photo projects! Check out the rest of my statement (and some never before shared masturbation memories) at The Sex Positive Photo Project… Day 31!.

The issue examines the “Male Gaze”, something which I’d like to write about soon because I feel there’s a lot to unpack in that term. Until then however, let’s appreciate this very masculine approach to my stunningly gorgeous friend.

Photos by Steven Klein for Richardson Magazine Issue A5. See more at Fleshbot.com.

Flamed by gender-bending controversy, the supermodel has walked the runway in men and womens’ designers such as Jean Paul Gaultier. At 19 years old, he has a great attitude about his opportunities and it’s refreshing to see such a strong connection and support between him and his family.

Most recently, the model’s image has faced censorship in American magazine outlets, as reported by Sociological Images and other publications.

Andrej is male-bodied and identified, yet unlike standard, cisgender beauty ideals, his look is extremely feminine. His genderqueer appearance on the cover of Dossier Journal caused the magazine to be protected in opaque covers in stores such as Barnes & Noble. Mainstream American retailers often cater to what they predict will appeal to “Middle America”. And conceal that which might be deamed as obscene.

While we are well aware of censorship by corporations based on these assumptions, what’s particularly alluring in this case is how gender comes into play. In Andrej’s situation, the overt sexualization of female figures creates a rift in gender presentation and expectations. His body is read as female, causing censorship and uncertainty. And also raising questions about gender and nudity.

I am fascinated by the conversation around his gender-bending, as someone who finds beauty and comfort, and revelation, within androgyny. I look forward to more media coverage and dialog concerning nudity and censorship, particularly in the ways that nudity is gendered and sexualized. It was once believed that the bikini would never catch on in America. Here’s hoping that androgyny too, is fashion forward.

Recall the March and April issue of AVN Magazine where my image in Njoy Toy‘s full page ad shows white cream running down my fingers. After I wrote a blog post about it and published the image to Facebook, I received several messages from people who told that they were amazed — and relieved — to learn that white cream during sex can be normal. A few of them had lovers tell them it was gross and because of this, actually stopped having sex because they were ashamed of it. Such a shame! It’s true that it’s rare to see cream in sexual images so I was glad to be able to represent this in such a public way, just as I am proud to show my body hair.

In our culture, porn is one of the few places to witness explicit sexuality, and because of this, we often base our sexual information from what we see in solely in pornography. With that in mind, it’s my belief that as an adult performer it’s important to me to show myself as authentically as possible, especially when the it seems that the expressions of vulvas are pretty limited. And socially… feared!

The clip of Stewie from “Family Guy” (gay as he may be) is a comedic but frightening example of the level of unease and fear around what should be a beautiful, normal, and celebrated part of our body.

Part of the reason I continue to perform in pornography is that it allows me to experience the beauty of sharing my sexuality with others, and using this privileged and empowered position to show that diverse sexual responses, desires, and expressions can be sexy — whether it’s made visible through myself in terms of white cream, female ejaculation, fisting, pubic hair, gender play, etc… or from that of what I share of my fellow sex-positive peers. The personal is political, professional, and powerful.

So when I saw Show Off Book’s new “I’ll Show You Mine“, I got very excited. Here’s a “non-porn” example of diversity in sexuality to join the ranks of previously published materials such as the fun Cunt Coloring Book by Tee Corinne and Joani Blank’s Femalia, though now out of print.

“I’ll Show You Mine” features 60 vulvas photographed from the front and head-on by Katie Huisman and edited by Wrenna Robertson. Each photo set is accompanied by participants’ short text entrée about their vulvas and participation in the project.

The texts range from poetic to journalistic and contextualize the importance of the project. Their addition to the book displays participants’ courage in modeling, self-consciousness about their appearance, pride in showing themselves in the photo, and experiences in their lives related to their sex including surviving sexual assault, becoming or helping others become orgasmic, and more.

Besides being a powerful product on its own, 128 page hard cover book sells for $30 (including shipping anywhere in North America) and 10% of all profits are donated to local and international women’s charities. Furthermore, free copies are available for educational and public use to qualifying charity organizations.

From the publishers:
We are committed to fostering empowerment through the educational use of our book. If you represent an organization or are an individual that would like to use the book for educational purposes or display the book in your work space for public viewing, we are happy to offer a copy of the book free of charge – you just pay the actual shipping cost! A few examples of individuals and organizations that qualify for this offer are: women’s, men’s, teen and family resource centres; all types of physician’s offices; STD and sexual health clinics; religious and spiritual centres; and wellness centres. We are also happy to offer a free copy to K-12 school counselors and college/university counseling and sexual resource centers. To receive a free copy, please use our Contact Us page with “Free Copy” in the Subject line. Please include your full organization name, a brief synopsis of your organization, your phone number(s) and your website.

My personal reaction of the book was that it does exactly what it needs to do. The outside cover is discreet and the forward and texts are empowering. There are many different participants, including a transwoman and a few trans-masculine or non-gender specific models. While the book is dedicated “For Every Woman”, I think it’s important to remember that being a woman does not necessarily mean you have a vulva (and having a vulva does not necessarily mean you are a woman). Furthermore I think that anyone can benefit from the breadth of diverse images. And it should be said that projects like this can keep going in terms of representation showing more and more differences with each additional participant.

The book’s forward states that it is Wrenna’s way of combating the “pornified” image of vaginas. While I agree that much of porn presents a limited view of what a vulva can look like, I hesitate to place the blame on all of porn. In fact I would add that the porn that I participate in furthers the mission of “I’ll Show You Mine”, by not only showing our’s but showing our’s in action! (Check out CrashPadSeries.com for photographic images, sex videos and behind the scenes interviews of diverse queer people of many genders — it’s a great resource and is even shown in academic sexuality settings.)

Despite a somewhat understandable anti-mainstream porn stance, I think the book is extremely valuable and I hope it is picked up by not only charity organizations but also doctors offices. Having a heightened awareness of anatomy and sexual confidence is so important for our health and happiness. My personal favorite part of the book is pages 23-24, showing Phaedra, a body piercer whose profession put the model in contact with over 250 vulvas. In discussing the nature of the piercing with many clients, Phaedra also shared information about anatomy, and as shared in the book, one client’s piercing and education resulted in a new connection with the parts of her vulva that allowed, as Phaedra put it, her to “let go during intercourse” and achieve orgasm.

Though my own crotch has been filmed and photographed enough that I’m sure many of you have seen it by now, the book inspired me to add to the documentation. So in spirit of “I’ll Show You Mine”, here’s mine!

In keeping with the book, these are unedited images taken at approximately the same angles as the book’s images, with natural lighting taken this morning with my iPhone.