How to Pee in a Cup

I’ve been peeing in a lot of cups lately.

Many of the porn companies I work for require AIM Tests. Specifically, an “AIM Panel” which tests for HIV, Chlamydia, and Gonorrhea. (Of course some of the companies do not, but instead encourage ‘risk-based assessment’ ie: having performers make the best decision based on what is the safest for them, such as Shine Louise Houston’s Pink & White Productions (See CrashPad’s Safer Sex Resources for Queer Porn Performers).

I’ll occasionally post a tweet about testing at SF’s AIM draw center, because I’m scared of needles — so much so that the late twincest (RIP) performance art duo Syd and I did incorporated needles into our work). When I do tweet about the experience, I inevitably get a question from someone who is not familiar with AIM (Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation — yes, it’s a non-profit)  or someone who doesn’t know that porn performers get tested.

Testing for porn has not only helped me overcome (mostly) my nervousness around needles, it’s also helped me learn how to pee in a cup. I recently had a “false positive” result for Gonorrhea, due to not following instructions. This was pretty annoying and a good lesson to learn. I decided to look into it more and make sure to do the sample correctly from now on. There are many tips online for giving a urine sample. The most important one for me is to make certain the area is wiped clean and to make sure to catch the urine ‘mid-stream’. Wikihow.com has instructions which are very detailed in the process and also which pertains to helping a younger female bodied person do it, though I am sure it could also be relevant to any one who needs assistance taking a urine sample. Some helpful points include:

With the first of the three wipes, wipe slowly from front to back over the middle of the exposed area. Be sure to wipe the ending of the clitoral hood and the area between the inner labia minora passing slowly and directly over your meatus (opening where the urine comes out), using one stroke from top to bottom. Discard the wipe. Then repeat this wiping using a new wipe just to one side of your urinary meatus. Using the last wipe, wipe just to the other side of your meatus. (God that’s a hot word, “meatus”, isn’t it?)

After you’ve urinated a small amount, position the cup under the stream. Continue to urinate (not stop and/or restart the stream). Do not to touch the cup’s rim to your skin. Moving the cup into the stream while peeing is a bit messy and your fingers will get wet if this is done correctly.

Take the cup away when it’s about 1/3 full to 2/3 full. Do not over flow. Again you should continue to pee while the cup is taken out of the stream. If the cup is even a 1/4 full and the force of the stream lets up, remove the cup before you stop peeing. (I always wondered how much pee was enough.)

My own note: don’t worry if the pee is crazy orange/yellow (meaning you need to drink more water). The lab technicians are not going to be embarrassed by your hydration issues. Just hand over the cup and try not to forget about your water bottle.

Of course there are also ways NOT to pee in a cup, and ways NOT to assist others in the process.

Just today I saw that porn star cutie Wolf Hudson posted a video of his trip to AIM, so you can see the process from start to finish.

When’s the last time you were tested?